Conformity - September 14, 2007

I am sure you have heard the cliché that “women love a man in uniform,” and if you are a man, you often find yourself wondering where you can get a uniform and how great you are going to look in it, and by doing so, and while looking great, whether you will be able to attract women. Or maybe that was just me.

Anyway, that whole idea with uniforms, is to demonstrate uniformity. (Shocking I know, this is when you start wondering if you should switch to a new writer.) Uniformity can serve several purposes but most principally it makes you feel like you are part of a designated group, for me it was always a little league baseball team, but for others (like my brother) it can be the Sheriff’s Department, military, student body, the list can go on and on of uniformed groups of people. The amazing thing about uniforms is that the persona of the people wearing the uniform can change depending on the circumstances. For example, when I was a little league outfielder (building dirt hills and completely missing fly balls) I wore my uniform with pride, I was proud to be on the team, proud to wear the uniform. The same sort of thing can go for law enforcement, or military, or any number of other situations. You are proud to wear the uniform because you are proud of what it stands for.

Here’s another example. When I was in middle school, my school had a dress code, not exactly a uniform, but a dress code. As part of this dress code, I was only allowed to wear khaki or black slacks and a green, gray, or white polo shirt. To make a long story short – I hated it.  In the beginning of the year it was just another thing that made me stand out, because as the glory of public education demonstrates, there is a waiver for everything, and most everyone else at my school had been waived out of the dumb policy by their parents. Mine had not, and as a result I found myself resenting the process of getting dressed on a daily basis, I found myself looking forward to rushing home to change into my “after-school clothes.”

As someone who has now spent a little bit of time studying education from the other side of the desk, I have learned that statistically, kids are far better behaved in class and at school when they have a strong dress code pressed upon them. As an adult, this is the only reason that I can figure out for the dress code.

Sometimes I think about things like this, the situations that people force other people into, and how good intentioned attempts often end up being unfortunately oppressive. Things like school dress codes, which seem like a good idea, fail miserably when people cover their butts by offering a waiver.

This kind of thinking becomes an even more significant  and dangerous with faith. Personally, I do not really enjoy being forced into any situation. As long as there is force, I want to rebel instinctively. I don’t know, maybe it’s the James Dean inside me. (Or maybe not.)

This situation is particularly damaging when it involves faith for a number of reasons. The first is that it is just down right irritating to be forced to do anything, to conform to anyone else’s standards generally mean that they differ from yours, which can be a good or bad thing depending on the situation. When someone is essentially prescribing their brand of religion for you, demanding that you believe according to their doctrines, it not only sours the palate of faith, but also makes you less likely to explore and own your personal faith for yourself if you are constantly being presented with a constrictive version of Christianity.

            It is usually the act of non-conformity that leads to conforming in many youth cultures that I have observed. The so-called “Goth kids” and “punk rockers” that so fervently cling to their non-conformist ideals, often end up becoming the non-conformist conformers. This often happens in our pursuit of a “unique” faith. We find ourselves searching so hard for a unique experience that we become just like everyone else demanding an exciting event from God. We become boring, impatient, and utterly impossible to satisfy.

            Looking at people struggling with this, I can imagine God speaking to them, while they, all the while are looking in all the wrong places for him. I can imagine him trying to explain, “Look all around you, look at the details, the little things. Stop searching for a massive miracle and pay attention to the little ones all around you.” The fact that we breathe without conscious effort, the way that the flowers open and close in relation to light and dark, the realization that we are even alive in the first place is a tremendous miracle that most of us miss out on, simply because we are looking for other things instead. It’s a stop to smell the roses kind of approach.

            The thought I am trying to get across is to be aware of you’re your own desire to be unique in both your life, and your faith, and use it to your advantage rather than allowing it to cheat you out of the excitement of the little things in life that can turn a mundane day into a really unique experience.

 

 

                                                                                    J.F.